TOP 10 LIFE LESSONS: 50 Years in the Making

My story begins in the most unlikely of places — a jeepney in the Philippines. Life was telling me from the very beginning, "Buckle up, kid; it’s going to be a wild ride."  Nicknamed Jeep Sing or Born in the Jeep, my entrance was unconventional. Batman had Gotham, Black Panther had Wakanda, and I… well, I had a jeepney. I’m a miracle baby, given a second chance at life. But unlike a comic book, my story is real with twists, turns, and lessons learned the hard way. Removing my mask, I am sharing with you the 10 most powerful lessons I’ve learned over 50 years.

1. Our past does not define us. Our daily choices do.

My childhood gave me gifts — resilience, self-leadership, and compassion, but they came wrapped in struggle. It was a Sunday, a day I always looked forward to because it meant seeing my dad. But this Sunday was different. As I walked into what looked like a chapel, I was hit by the scent of lilies. The room was filled with somber faces, and the silence felt heavy, almost unbearable. The moment they opened the coffin, I felt my world crumble in ways I didn’t know were possible for a seven-year-old. My dad, my hero, was unresponsive. My heart fell into my gut.

Back in the 60s, interracial marriages were taboo in the Chinese community. I was separated from my Filipino mother and raised by my grandmother. My mom was just a shadow at the lavish banquets my relatives hosted — there, but not really seen. Even as a preschooler, I understood the sting of discrimination. I could see the pain in my mother’s eyes, and I vowed, even then, to treat everyone with respect. And life kept daring me to stay true to that vow, even when I felt invisible myself. Though I grew up feeling like an outsider, I realized that my circumstances didn’t have to define me. My choices did.

2. Be grateful for the people who believe in you. 

At school, surrounded by wealthy children, I often felt inadequate. While other kids got picked up in fancy cars by their parents, I was the lone cowboy, walking home solo. If only there were an award for longest solo walks… I’d be a gold medalist.

But school became my sanctuary — a place where I could excel and feel seen, despite the bullying I endured for being different, for being gay. I fought for that scholarship like my future depended on it — because it did. My dream was to enter the top private Jesuit university, but I couldn’t afford it. My teachers and friends, those angels in disguise, reminded me of my strengths. I am here today because of these beautiful souls who saw a future in me when I doubted myself.

Today, I give back by providing scholarships to give other kids the chance they deserve.

3. Being an overachiever often reflects a need for validation.

Fresh out of university, I began my corporate journey at Procter & Gamble, bursting with ambition. But here’s the catch: My childhood had taught me to be an overachiever—to prove my worth, to feel seen, and maybe to be loved. I didn’t just run a marathon; I ran it daily—except my finish line kept moving further and further away. I went the extra mile, but I soon learned that you can only sprint for so long before you crash.

I burned out. I quit. And I felt like a failure. But that’s when life offered me an unexpected gift: the power of introspection. I learned that self-leadership isn’t about winning every race; it’s about knowing when to slow down and take care of yourself.

4. Listening is our superpower. 

After I recovered from my burnout and depression, I volunteered at St. Stephen’s High School—the school that had given me a scholarship when I was a kid. I thought I was going there to teach, but what I didn’t expect was how much those children would teach me.

There was a boy in my class — let’s call him Marco, who reminded me so much of myself at that age. He was smart, creative, but always holding back, afraid to shine too brightly in a world that can be so harsh to those who dare to stand out. One day, I asked him to stay after class. I didn’t give him a pep talk. Instead, I asked him about his dreams, his fears, what made him excited. I just listened — truly listened.

As Marco spoke, something amazing happened. He began to open up, not just to me, but to himself. He started to see that his dreams were exciting, his fears were valid, and that he had the power to create the life he wanted. All it took was someone who cared enough to ask the right questions and give him the space to find his own answers.

Today, that boy Marco is a successful architect. That experience taught me that leadership isn’t about giving answers. It’s about creating space for others to find their own.

Imagine how many dreams die in silence — because nobody listens.

5. When we lead with compassion, we bring out the greatness in others.

After my sabbatical teaching, I wasn’t sure if I could re-enter the corporate world. I had been away for a while, and part of me wondered if I still had what it took. But in 1994, Colgate-Palmolive gave me a second chance. I walked into the role of Brand Manager with a mix of excitement and doubt. Could I do this again? Could I rebuild confidence from scratch?

The leaders at Colgate gave me the space to be fully self-expressed. Their trust reignited my confidence, and soon, I found myself leading initiatives that transformed the business in the Philippines. We became a global center of excellence for Colgate’s hair care innovation, and I was promoted to Senior Brand Manager. What I learned from Colgate wasn’t just how to lead a brand, but how to lead with heart. Compassion brings out the greatness in others.

6. People don’t care what you know until they know you care about them.

In 1998, I landed my dream job at Disney. Now, let me tell you, walking into Disney’s headquarters in Burbank felt like stepping into a storybook. If you’ve ever seen that iconic building with the dwarfs holding up the roof, you’ll understand the mix of awe and intimidation I felt.

I was interviewing for a corporate brand management role, and I’ll never forget the question the Chief Strategy Officer asked me: “What makes you different from the other candidates with MBAs and experience at other great companies?” Without thinking, I blurted out, “I am a child at heart.” He looked at me like, “Did this guy just say he’s a child?” and I thought, “Great, Lance, you’ve blown it.” 

The next day, I got the call: “You got the job.” My manager told me, “The others spoke about credentials. You spoke about character.” And just like that, I became part of Disney.

But as magical as it was, I faced a challenge that many of us perhaps can relate to — I felt like an imposter. I was the youngest member of the Asia Pacific leadership team, surrounded by more seasoned executives. I found myself questioning whether I truly belonged. So I made it my mission to listen to the challenges and priorities of the different business units. I wanted to understand their needs, their fears, and their aspirations.  As I did this, something incredible happened: My relationships with the leaders flourished, not because I had all the answers, but because I cared enough to help them thrive. I facilitated cross-functional meetings with a shared mantra —“Build our brand to build our business.”

I rose from being the youngest Director to Vice President of Brand Management for the Asia Pacific region. My 12 years at Disney were marked by unforgettable moments — presenting a five-year content strategy to our CEO, Bob Iger, celebrating milestones like the opening of Hong Kong Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea, and offering inputs to our Imagineers for Shanghai Disneyland. But perhaps the most meaningful part? Even after 15 years since leaving Disney, the friendships I formed have only grown stronger.

7. Allow silence, stillness and space: the 3S you need for self-discovery. 

After years of climbing the corporate ladder, I started to hear a voice calling me to something bigger than myself. I remember my mom asking me, “Lance, are you going through a midlife crisis?” But instead of a crisis, it felt like an awakening. So, what do you do when you feel that pull toward something greater? You go on sabbatical again :)

In 2012, I quit my job — scared as hell, by the way — and went on a two-year journey. The turning point? A retreat in Bali. I remember my mentor saying, “It’s a short distance between the heart and the mind, but it’s the longest journey you’ll ever take.”

In Bali, surrounded by tranquil beaches and suspiciously healthy smoothies, I confronted my deepest fears. Fear of rejection, fear of losing status, fear of change. Instead of listening to the noise of expectations, I finally listened to my heart. Through journaling, meditation, and reflection, I uncovered my core values: integrity, compassion, and growth.

Stripped of my titles and identity, I created space for something more meaningful. Then came Africa. Watching the vast evening sky over the savannah, I realized how small my world had been. Should I continue my corporate career or fully commit to giving back? Then it hit me: Why not both? This journey clarified my mission: to inspire more leaders to help transform more lives.

8. A job gives you stability,a career gives you recognition, but a calling gives you fulfillment.

After my sabbatical, I joined Google as the Director of Brand & Creative Solutions for North Asia. While I initially focused on growing YouTube’s presence, I felt increasingly drawn toward leadership development, an area I’d become passionate about.

One of Google’s unique perks is the 20% Project, which allows employees to dedicate time to passion projects. I chose to teach leadership programs like Search Inside Yourself and the Google Way of Coaching. These projects brought me closer to my Ikigai, a Japanese concept for aligning passion, mission, vocation, and profession.

During the pandemic, I saw an opportunity to enhance our client engagement. So what did I do? I wrote my own job description based on my passion and strengths. My boss supported it, and I launched the Sales Excellence program in Greater China — a project where I coached the sales team and trained managers to become coaches themselves.  Not only did we improve the business results, but we also nurtured our talents, so the program expanded across the Asia Pacific region. My calling began to unfold. 

9. Life is not a resume; it’s a mission.

The pandemic offered many of us a chance to reflect. After 30 years in the corporate world, I felt it was time to focus on my personal mission. I decided to start my own leadership development company, embracing the role of an entrepreneur — a first for me and, to be honest, a bit terrifying.

What I didn’t expect was how quickly things would fall into place. Google invited me to continue coaching as part of their Global Mastery Faculty, which allowed me to serve leaders within and outside the organization. When you commit to your mission, the universe has a way of supporting you.

After 25 years in Hong Kong, I moved to Lisbon — a city that aligns with my next chapter. My passion evolved from building brands to building leaders, turning my career into a calling. After all, life is not a resume — it’s a mission.

10. At the end of the day, what matters most is not what we’ve achieved, but who we’ve become.

As I reflect on the final lesson, I realize that living life by design is less about achievements and more about growth. True success is measured not by titles but by the relationships we build, the lives we touch, and the growth we experience along the way.

I remember reading The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, and two resonated deeply: “I wish I’d lived a life true to myself, not what others expected,” and “I wish I’d allowed myself to be happier.” 

The words of Maya Angelou have been a guiding light for me: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Learning from my journey, I wrote the Conscious Leadership Compass™ This framework is both strategic and practical, helping us broaden our purpose across three critical dimensions: Me, We, and World, leading from a stronger foundation.

• Me is about living with integrity, practicing self-leadership, and nurturing sustainable well-being.

• We is about building meaningful connections and fostering a culture where collective wisdom and collaboration thrive.

• World is about creating a legacy, developing future leaders, and transforming lives.

When you master all three, you’re not just achieving business objectives—you’re building trust, the most valuable currency in leadership today. You lead by example, and create a powerful ripple effect.

The integration of Me-We-World serves as your compass—your “why”—while Life by Design provides the strategic roadmap—your “how.” Imagine leading teams that exceed expectations, fostering cultures where trust fuels innovation, and building a legacy that inspires future generations.

So, let’s think expansively, lead consciously, and live fully™.  Life becomes richer, more meaningful, and undeniably more delicious when we are conscious.

© 2024 Diaresco Conscious Leadership